Empty Nest: So much for ..

not so bad. I got up yesterday with diarrhea and nausea. I couldn't do anything but sit here and be miserable. I slept a lot but that didn't help. I knew there would be issues, i.e. nausea and diarrhea and I guess I knew there would be pain but I guess I wasn't ready for it to be this bad. What scares me is its supposed to get worse..I don't have the time to take off of work. I have to go to work and believe me, I wouldn't have been able to work Saturday. I don't know how long this is supposed to last (probably 6 mos) but right now I'm useless.

Today isn't too bad. My stomach is crazy. If I didn't know that I had my gall bladder taken out I'd say that's what bothering me.

I found a colon cancer message board and started reading it. It scared the sh*t out of me. All of the posts are stories of chemo that isn't working or how many times people have had this treatment and now I want to do is cry. I'm thinking I won't go back there. Not until I have a grip on my treatment. I can't eat. The thought of swallowing makes me nauseous.. I made a scrambled egg and gave most of it to Rosco. I bought some Ensure to make sure I get stuff in me that I need. I'm hoping the appetite will come back. I had no problem eating last week so I'm hoping that this will get better.

I'll be okay I'm sure but I'm not internet surfing for any more information. I'll just pay attention to the people I know who have gone through this.

I did go to the store this morning to get myself some things to eat, should the urge come back. As usual Rosco doesn't like the treat I brought back for him. Little snot. Oh yeah, and I got my laundry done. After that my house looks like crap. I just don't have it in me to dust,clean etc. Please tell me this will get easier or I'll learn to cope with it.

I'll beat this, I swear. Its just going to be a bit harder than I had hoped.