Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see
him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a
fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they
won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky ...
not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove
them down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid
someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could
take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a
substantial tax cut saves you 30 cents?
Number 2 - In the 60s, people
took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird an! d people take
Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know
exactly where one cow with mad cow disease is located among the millions and
millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of
illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the
Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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